Cook
Cook Elena Vasquez
Manila, Philippines
Undisputed monarch of the galley. Goulash on Tuesdays. Always.
The most powerful person on the ship, and everyone knows it. Cooks for twenty two men and one Chief Officer with the precision of a field surgeon. Has arm wrestled every officer at least once, and won. Will not be drawn on why goulash, specifically, and Tuesdays, specifically.
Portrait is a comic book invention. Under the conditions of my passage, no likeness of the working crew may appear here, names have been changed and faces drawn from memory.
Sunday, 1 November 2026Dolphins off Baja
A quiet Sunday morning, a pod of dolphins at the bow, warm air at last, talk of the crew pool, and a biscuit tin that is lighter than it was on Friday.
Saturday, 31 October 2026Halloween in the Mess
A pumpkin carved like the ship, a crew party at sea, Big Kev dressed as himself, a costume coincidence, and a very small pie.
Friday, 30 October 2026I Hired a Sports Car, Briefly
Shore leave. A Porsche with the roof down, the Pacific Coast Highway, a Chief Officer who drives the way she plays Scrabble, tea, biscuits, and an engine photograph for Tiny.
Thursday, 29 October 2026Landfall at Long Beach
California out of the dawn haze, a pilot boat, an orchestra of tugs, customs officers who do not like jokes, and the strange feeling of solid ground.
Tuesday, 27 October 2026Two Cups on the Bridge Wing
The last full day of the Pacific crossing. A sunset on the bridge wing, a question about going home, a shore leave plan, and an answer I meant.
Friday, 23 October 2026After the Gale
A grey morning on deck with Tiny and his crew, checking every lashing on a ship the length of four football pitches. My arms will never be the same.
Thursday, 22 October 2026The North Pacific Has a Word
A proper autumn gale, a ship the size of a town leaning politely from side to side, plain toast, and a phone call from the bridge.
Tuesday, 20 October 2026Ethiopia, by Way of the Mess
Elena's world menu reaches the Horn of Africa. We eat with our hands, Big Kev has a technique, and I learn which stew carries a warning.
Saturday, 17 October 2026Saturday, Twice
We crossed the date line in the night and were handed the same Saturday again. I spent the first one becoming a Golden Dragon and the second one wondering what to do with a free day.
Wednesday, 14 October 2026The Face on the Pillow
Container has stopped merely sleeping on my bed and started arranging herself so that the first thing I see each morning is her face.
Tuesday, 13 October 2026The Bridge Has a Biscuit Tin
Dawn drinks with Priya, an increasingly public biscuit collection, and a Pacific crossing measured in small familiar rituals.
Sunday, 11 October 2026A Small Quiet Day in the Pacific
Grey skies, a borrowed book, and Container taking charge of a day with very little to report.
Saturday, 10 October 2026Birthdays on the Back Deck
Elena takes the world menu outdoors, two birthdays are celebrated, and my policy on desserts undergoes public scrutiny again.
Monday, 5 October 2026Korea for Dinner, the Ocean for Afterward
Elena continues the journey around the world one dinner at a time, with Korea receiving a thoroughly convincing second visit.
Monday, 28 September 2026Japan by Menu
Ramen, dumplings, and a dessert that prompts negotiations over the final portion.
Thursday, 24 September 2026Australia from the Galley
Meat pies appear off the Chinese coast and Big Kev claims expert status.
Friday, 18 September 2026Brazil for Dinner
Black beans, slow cooked pork, orange, and silence around the table.
Monday, 14 September 2026Greece at Seventeen Knots
Moussaka returns in a form my stomach agrees to discuss.
Sunday, 6 September 2026Thailand on the Horizon
A green line appears to port and the menu travels to Japan.
Thursday, 3 September 2026Italy for Dinner
Risotto on a moving ship proves that Elena has either courage or supernatural timing.
Sunday, 30 August 2026Sri Lanka in the Mist
Land is close enough to smell but not to see, and dinner visits France.
Tuesday, 25 August 2026Mexico by Way of the Galley
Enchiladas arrive in the Arabian Sea, followed by a firm ruling on portions.
Saturday, 22 August 2026Saturday Curry
Elena begins her menu around the world, starting with a curry that silences the mess.
17 August 2026The Red Sea and the Heat
Forty one degrees, a stash inventory conducted in secret, and the discovery that chocolate has a limited operational lifespan in this climate.
13 August 2026South of Malta
Thirty four degrees on deck, a dinner that silenced the mess, and the beginning of Suez paperwork season.
4 August 2026The Supermarket Dash
Eighteen hours in Rotterdam, a shopping list written like an operations order, and a personal stash that is now the most valuable cargo aboard.
3 August 2026A Kite, Plain Rice, and a Respectable Second
Priya taught me to fly a kite from the bridge deck. Elena moved me onto plain rice and plain toast. Container has claimed the foot of my bed. We came second at trivia.
27 July 2026The Cat, the Eggplant and a Trivia Team I Did Not Ask For
I woke up to find the ship's cat at the foot of my bed. I also discovered I do not like eggplant. Priya has rostered me onto her trivia team. The seagulls are judging all of us.
26 July 2026Gulls, Diesel and a Peach Cobbler: 22 to 26 July
Tiny fished off the stern, Kev finally opened the engine room, the sky went a ridiculous blue, and Elena produced a peach cobbler that has rearranged my priorities.
21 July 2026The Laundry, the Engine Room, and a Pie I Did Not Share
I found the laundry, lost the argument about outdoor drying, missed driving, and told Big Kev about my turbocharged Miata. He was unimpressed.
20 July 2026A Birthday that I did not mention
A key lime pie the size of one honest portion, a song I did not enjoy, and the discovery that this ship has Starlink and a library. My iPhone remains, on principle, switched off.
16 July 2026Warm Water and a Stash of Tea: 14, 15 and 16 July
I have found a swimming pool, lost a game of eye spy at 02:30, and accidentally befriended the cook with a hidden supply of hotel tea.
9 July 2026Aboard at Last: Berth 8, Garden City Terminal
I am on the ship. I have a cabin. I have met three of the crew. We sail tomorrow on the tide.